


Brother Let Me Be Your Shelter Never Leave You All Alone

by Breakingthetide



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Big Brother Grant Ward, Brothers, Character Death, Death, F/M, Tragedy, Tragic Romance, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-10-13 16:35:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10517619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breakingthetide/pseuds/Breakingthetide
Summary: “The whole world can become the enemy when you lose what you love.”-Kristina McMorris, Bridge of Scarlet Leaves-“He looked at his friend, perhaps for the last time, and said what he had always known, from the moment they’d met, when he’d understood that the prince was his brother in soul. “I love you.”-Sarah J. Maas, Heir of Fire-Or the story of how Kebo loses the love of his life and he and Grant Ward became best friends. Their story throughout the years, the support system they both need in a world full of Shield and Hydra.There is no happy beginning and no happy ending.





	1. She Lives In A Daydream, I Don't Belong

 

 _Okay. Okay you can do this. You are a strong smart man, you have a PHD from Harvard for god sake. Stop being a little bitch baby and make a move._ Kebo tells himself as he removes himself from the current spot he's slumming in. He had a plan here, he doesn't just go strolling along farmer's markets in the middle of the day for nothing. He'd run out of peaches (his one and only weakness, his mother may she rest in peace, used to stuff his face with them.)

　

But that seems thrown out the window now. She has blonde hair curled down her back, the sunlight framing her face in a way Kebo has never seen before. He just turned around and there she was like something out of a dream, an angel too far away from the clouds. She doesn't belong here and he sure as hell doesn't deserve to be gawking at her from across the way. He can't help himself, she's so beautiful.

　

From the way she's curved around one of the fruit stands he can tell that her eyes are blue, her cheeks are flushed as she throws her head back and laughs. A strawberry is clutched lightly in her small hands, the skirt she's wearing twirls around with the morning breeze. Kebo can't take his eyes off her. It's like she's put some spell on him and he's lost every one of his brain cells, he's frozen on the spot just staring at the woman like an idiot.

　

The people around him have long faded away in the background, it's just him probably looking like some kind of creep as he keeps his eyes on this stranger. _Make a move. Go. Just walk over there and say hello, be smooth. Smooth like Marcus_ (his older brother who he hasn't spoken to in three years) _and compliment her skirt. Or her smile. That always seemed to work._ The pep talk he's trying to give himself does not work.

　

Someone bumps into his shoulder and Kebo turns to glare at them for half a second, when he turns back around the woman is gone. Knowing he has no right to feel it and curses himself for it, a stab of disappointment enters him. But it does not last for long. There's a flash of blonde and a denim jacket then all of a sudden there she is. Right in front of him. A few freckles dust the tip of her nose, she's very small.

　

So tiny she barely brushes against his shoulder. ''Um''. Real smooth he forgets how to make words. ''Can I help you with something?'' She asks, a slight southern accent that he's immediately annoyed with. Perhaps he shouldn't of put her on such a high pedestal already. ''I um, I don't know? I''- ''Because the staring is weird you''- ''You're pretty''. Oh god. Oh god he is blowing this he is ninteen and stupid and it's not like he's never talked to a woman before.

　

''Excuse me?'' Hands on her hips she doesn't blush like most girls would when he says that. ''You have, nice face''. Oh lord what the hell is he doing? HIs hand moves of it's own accord and gestures to her cheeks, no longer flushing with laughter but, what is that expression? It seems the anger has faded replaced with, is that sympathy? Why would she be looking at him like that? He is not a sob story or some charity case.

　

''Oh. Oh my goodness I am so sorry, you cupcake of course, I, I apologize. It's fine honey, you can stare at me all you want sweetie''. A hand on his arm, her tone has this softness to it, this fondness as if she's speaking to a small child. If Kebo had a friend or his brother with him, they'd be cracking up right now. It takes him a second to understand her shift in attitude, why she's looking at him with kindness in her eyes when she wanted to rip his head off a second ago.

　

Kebo regains his chill after a beat, finally realizing that she isn't some goddess sent down to torture him, but a human who thinks he is not capable of taking care of himself. ''I have a PHD from Harvard. I'm smart''. Wow. That just came right out like word vomit. The woman looks at him in confusion, the hand on his arm drops. ''I was looking at you because you're pretty not because I'm''-

　

Understanding quickly takes over and the woman takes a step back, hand over her mouth. ''Oh. Oh gosh I am so sorry. I didn't, I just I saw you and you were just staring at me. I just assumed when you started talking. I'm so sorry''. Yeah he has a way with words just apparently not with her. Normally he's all calm and collected, really has no problem with the ladies. It's the accent (he lived in England until he was fourteen) and the height. Kebo is tall like his father.

　

She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder and composes her face, flashes him a half smirk and really it does things to him and he's having a hard time concentrating once more. ''You really think I'm pretty?'' She doesn't ask for herself, there's no low self esteem or need of reassurance in the question. Kebo admires that. She's confident he can tell, is only asking perhaps to watch him struggle for air again.

　

He squares his shoulders and takes a deep breath, ''I do''. A smile takes over her entire face, she has dimples and her eyes crinkle at the edges in a way he finds adorable and it steals all the breath from his lungs. ''You're not so bad I suppose cowboy. Can we start over?'' She sticks out her hand for him to shake and he takes it, her skin is cold but smooth. ''I'm Lauren''. He doesn't know it now of course, but this meeting right here is going to affect the rest of his life.

　

''I um, I''- ''Come on use your words''. A wink and Kebo is biting the inside of his cheek. ''Kebo. My name is Kebo''. ''Never met anyone named Kebo''. ''Never met anyone named Lauren''. She laughs and neither one has noticed that they have not let go of each other's hands. ''British right?'' ''How could you tell?'' She gives him a wink, ''well you look really out of place''. She's teasing and Kebo finds himself enchanted again.

　

''But it might have been because of the accent''. ''Let me guess you're from the south?'' ''Born and raised''. ''What the hell are you doing in Boston?'' ''Language!'' ''Seriously? How old are you?'' ''Anyway I just, I neeeded a change in scenery I suppose. Closed my eyes one morning and pointed at a map, finger landed on Boston and here I am''. She's strong, just left her family? Well. He did do the same thing.

　

''What about you? What brings you to the big city?'' ''Wouldn't really call Boston the big city love''. She giggles and it's like the world stops. He's never heard such a beautiful sound. He'd do anything for that to happen again. ''So it is true, ya'll really do call people love''. ''Ya'll?'' She giggles again at his poor american accent, free hand over her mouth. ''Please ignore my britishness and continue''.

　

And that is how it all starts.

　

They stand in the market like that for an hour, still holding hands and talking. To this day Kebo still has no idea how in the hell he managed to get so lucky. There was just something about that day. The universe smiled down on him and wanted him to have some fresh pievce of happiness, the only joy he'd ever feel in his entire life. It only lasted for a year. One beautiful year where they fell in love and rented an apartment in Paris.

　

Kebo had been in Hydra for a while at that point and well, he took advantage of what they gave him. He never did find out if Lauren knew about Hydra, or if she just took the gifts he gave her, the touring around the world without question. They do say that ignorance is bliss. Kebo and Lauren were glued to each other, there was never one without the other. They lived a life of luxury not from the parties or the alcohol or the fancy lush clothes or apartments Hydra provided.

　

But because they were together. They found that rare connection people spend their whole lives looking for. A soulmate. Lauren would tease him constantly for that word, but she too believed it. Her parents would tell her she was dumb and nothing would ever last, that Kebo wasn't good for her and she needed to come back home. On those days Kebo would hold her while she cried in bed, told him that she loved him and her parents were wrong.

　

He felt guilty he never asked her to choose, but it was always him at the end of the day. Now their relationship wasn't always easy, they fought here and there like any other couple would do. However they didn't get enough time to really explore every single side of their relationship, the experience that comes with years of loving and being together. Now Kebo wishes more than anything that they could have, that they had that chance.

　

But they didn't. And their year of love came crashing down on a Thursday mornings. (Kebo hates every single Thursday even now all these years later, he drinks just a bit more that usual.) Kebo wakes to the feel of warm skin and soft hair brushing against his shoulder, the smell of strawberries heavy in the air. Lauren's shampoo, it's the only kind she'll ever use. There's a slight chill in the air and he knows what's happening.

　

With a glance to the bed side table to confirm it, the water inside the glass, is frozen solid. The cup itself cool and ice to the touch. Meaning Lauren is having a nightmare. The real reason she left her home and went to Boston is because she was Gifted (a term he learned from Hydra.) Meaning a person can do things others cannot, in Lauren's case she can freeze things. Whatever she wants, doesn't even have to touch it.

　

When she first told him she nearly ran away because she thought he'd see her as a monster, a freak, like her family did. But that was not the case. Instead he took her in his arms, cracked a joke about her new name being 'Ice Queen' and held her close. (And yes years later when the movie Frozen came out he got drunk and went into a Walmart, destroyed every DVD copy and was arrested. It wasn't a pretty day.)

　

''Lauren, hey cupcake it's okay it was just a dream. Wake up love''. He shakes her shoulder, brushes his fingers across the birth mark there. Blue eyes flash open and the heavy breathing stops, she relaxes in his embrace after a second. He's looking at her with warm eyes and even if she wanted to, Lauren couldn't ever turn away from that expression. She wants to spend the rest of her life waking up like this, with him.

　

Being only twenty and from a small town she basically has no experience in the love department, but with Kebo like so many other things it's as easy as breathing. Loving him comes naturally, like a second skin like something she's been doing all her life. She never wants to leave. ''I was dreaming?'' He brushes the hair away from her face and kisses her brow. ''Yes my little Inhuman you were. But you're alright, I'm here you're safe''.

　

She wrinkles her nose at the new nickname before elbowing him in the ribs and rising from the sheets. ''You know I vote naked Thursdays should be a thing''. She tells him, earning a laugh and a small pinch on her hip. ''Do you now?'' ''I do. Just let it hang loose''. ''Do not ever say that about my parts ever again Lauren. God. You just want me for my body''. She leans over him, her hair creating a light curtain around their faces.

　

''You have a nice brain too''. ''A nice brain? What kind of compliment is that? Jesus. We need to work on your flirting skills my dear''. ''Oh I think my skills are pretty perfect''. ''Says who? Are you flirting with other men besides me? Do I need to puff out my chest and punch someone? Because I will I'll do it''. Kebo moves like he is about to get up but Lauren pins him back down with her thighs and a giggle that never fails to make him weak in the knees.

　

''I'm having an affair obviously, his name is Thomas and we're having three kids, I'm planning on leaving you in the morning''. He tickles her side and flips them over, kisses her forehead. ''Oh my love there isn't a place you could go where I wouldn't find you''. ''Stalker''. ''You love me''. ''I guess. Only because you feed me and call me love''. He smiles and swears he'll be happy the rest of his days as long as she's next to him.

　

An hour later he's putting on pants headed out to grab fresh coffee, Lauren has thrown on her favorite floral robe and is sitting on the ledge by the window, looking out into the city. Kebo puts on his leather jacket that she bought for him last month, it's worn and black already and he loves it. He loves her. Walks up to her and kisses the back of her head. ''I'll be back''. '''Two sugars and''- ''I know how you like it love''.

　

She grabs his hand and places it over her heart, she does this many a times and it always causes him to melt. ''Yes you do''. Her voice is soft and she leans up to kiss him, hand on the back of his neck. ''Hurry back I'm going to sit here and die without you''. Lauren tells him on his way out the door and Kebo shakes his head. ''Always so dramatic''. ''I learned from you''. She's not wrong. It was just a normal Thursday morning. Until it wasn't.

　

He knows something is wrong the minute he turns the corner back to their apartment, Hydra didn't half ass train him. There's an unmarked vehicle across the street and Kebo takes off in a sprint. Doesn't care if it draws attention, the coffee cups are still hot in his hands. ''Lauren? Lauren?'' He pushes open the front door and drops the paper cups full of caffeine onto the floor. The apartment is a mess.

　

Furniture is strewn about, dishes are broken, the mattress has been over turned she sheets and pillows scattered. The window Lauren was looking out of has been broken, there's a small drop of blood by his boot. She's gone. Someone took her and it wasn't Hydra.

　

It was just a regular Thursday morning.

 


	2. She Is the Sunlight & the Sun Is Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo sets off to rescue Lauren and gets surprising help on the way.

 

''So you're telling me that Shield stole my girlfriend and took her to Cambodia?'' ''That's exactly what I'm saying''. ''Son of a bitch''. Kebo leans back against the hood of his car and lights a cigarette. Arnold a fellow Hydra agent who is famous for being able to track anyone and anything, shakes his head as Kebo continues smoking. ''You have a plan to get her back?'' Is this man serious? Does he really think Kebo is just going to let Lauren go?

　

''What kind of dumb question is that? Do you really think I would call you for help without a plan? I'm going to storm that Shield base and get her back''. ''That's suicide man''. ''Not if I don't die. Besides you and I both know Hydra can't exactly help right now being undercover in Shield and all. I'm on my own here''. The two men stand in silence before Kebo tells him to write the coordinates down and hand them over.

　

Arnold does and tells him to be careful. ''You don't look so good man, just try not to die, yeah?'' Kebo nearly loses it. How can he be expected to look put together and happy when Lauren is missing? Out there in a lab probably with needles in her arms crying for him to help her? She was taken three hours and twelve minutes ago, Kebo feels as if he can't breathe that he's hardly hanging on.

　

''You get what else I asked you for?'' Arnold looks around like someone is listening in on them, ''I have no idea how they found your girl''. ''You're sure?'' ''Positive. Must have been watching her''. ''I think I would know''. Arnold gives him a look, ''my friend you are good, but you are not that good. Those agents that took her knew what they were doing''. Kebo finishes his cigarette before throwing it to the ground and grinding it down under his boot.

　

''They're all dead men''. ''I wish you luck. There's a plane waiting for you here''. Arnold hands him another slip of paper with coordinates. Kebo begins walking away when he calls out, ''you know this means you owe me''. Kebo nearly takes out his gun and shoots him but refrains, instead turning around and glaring at him. ''If I'm dead I won't''. Arnold just grins and lights a cigarette of his own before fading into the crowd.

　

What the hell is this? Honestly. He's literally about to go to Cambodia to rescue the woman he loves from Shield. The supposed good guys, what kind of crap? They took her for her powers but why be so harsh about it? They'll put her on the Index. At that thought Kebo freezes halfway climbing into the car. The Index for Gifted individuals is basically having a target on your back. Bright neon letters that scream 'please come and get me I'm different'.

　

He can't let that happen. He has to save her he will save her there is no other option. Lauren is, Lauren is good. Like god decided to take all the good he'd ever seen in the world and put it into one person, it's her. With her wide smile that always makes him weak, not being able to laugh quietly no matter how hard she tries. How she can't watch any movie sad or not, without crying. When she scolds him for cursing and waking up entirely too early.

　

Kebo can't lose that he can't lose her. Lauren is the only person who has a given a damn about him, brings out a side of himself he didn't know existed. She makes him a better person, the kinf of man his mother would be proud of. Because of Lauren Kebo no longer believes himself as his father's son. And that is something he never thought would happen. Which is why she doesn't deserve this. She's too pure for the darkness of his world to touch.

　

''You know if I didn't go out for some damn coffee this probably wouldn't of happened. So this is kind of basically your fault''. He tells the picture of Lauren he has taped to the dashboard of his car. It's from a few months back when they went to Italy. She's sitting across from him stuffing her face with the finest pasta in the world, smiling with noodles and red sauce all in her teeth. It might be his favorite photo of her.

　

With her tired eyes from traveling all day, makeup smeared at the edges of her face. Hair tied at the nape of her neck a few strands breaking free framing her cheeks, god he loves her. He loves her so much. ''We're blaming this one on you cupcake''. Of course he gets no response, and the silence is unwelcoming. When was the last time he was truly alone without Lauren? Before he met her. Kebo refuses to go back to a life like that.

　

Can't remember who he was back then, wouldn't even recognize the person he was a year ago. If he was a hopeless romantic he'd reflect on how one person can come into your life and change it for the better (or the worst but he hasn't gotten to that part yet.) How a tiny girl at a Farmer's Market made him see the world in a different light, that not everyone is out to get him. Well. Right now he doesn't really believe that last bit.

　

''You're lucky I love you''. He runs a finger across the photo before speeding off headed for the private plane waiting. He's coming for her, and if he has to die saving her then so be it.

　

''Jesus christ on top of everything it's raining. Really?'' Kebo looks up to the sky where he's just landed in Cambodia. ''You just really hate me today don't you big guy? Letting Lauren be taken wasn't enough for you? You just had to make it worse. Thank you I really appreciate it''. As if god or whoever is out there is actually listening, the thunder rumbles loudly and the rain pounds harder. ''This is why we don't speak anymore''.

　

Kebo mutters as he checks into the country, fake passport and all. The lab of course is hours away because why wouldn't it be? Why would he be lucky and it be down the road? ''You're really doing a number on me today. You know how I feel about situations that only get harder''. Half expecting Laurne to comment because she's always beside him, Kebo waits for it to come only to catch himself. She's not here.

　

That puts a sting in his chest and makes him walk faster. An hour later he's managed to hot wire a car, really considered stopping for food because he hasn't eaten anything since the fish he had last night. But that would be inappropriate, Lauren is probably being tortured right now for god sake he can't stuff his face with tacos. But she'd understand. Maybe. Tacos are important. Lauren. Focus on Lauren not food you can grab food later.

　

Finally after five hours in the car by himself which was a real trial after a while, how does Lauren deal with him all the time? Does she not know how annoying he is? God Kebo wanted to punch himself in the face, there is no way she finds that adorable. He makes it to where Lauren is being held, a small building in the middle of nowhere, not a neighbor in sight. ''Probably so they don't hear the screams''. He should really stop being so morbid.

　

There are perks to being involved in a secret government agency, weapons. Kebo pops open the truck and grabs the go back full of guns and other various items. Blinks back against the rain to observe the building and starts walking. Wonders how he hasn't completely lost it yet, thrown things is anger or cursed everyone under the sun. There's still time. ''There's no one else I'd walk through the rain and mud for, you are so lucky you're amazing''.

　

Under the heavy rain he steps over a branch and nearly trips, ''oh you so owe me for this. If I die trying to save you''- ''Talking to yourself son?'' Kebo whirls around to see a man standing there like he's been following him for a while, a few other people behind him. It's obvious they're Shield, weapons are hot at the ready. So this is how it ends. Is there a god? All those Sundays his mother made him go to chruch was there an actual reason for it?

　

Or was it all just bullshit? And he's about to die right now he'll never see Lauren again oh god he can't die he has to save her. ''Well this is awkward''. Kebo really isn't known for his charm these days. The man smiles at him, puts his gun down. ''You lost?'' Why aren't they shooting at him yet? And why does this guy look so familiar? Oh. Oh wait, that's right. This is John Garrett. Shield agent extraordinaire and wherever he goes-

　

Ah. There he is. Special Agent Grant Ward the best agent Shield has ever seen since the Black Widow, which is saying something because he's just started out in his career. Hasn't even graduated the Academy yet, so what's he doing out here? Why is Garrett here? ''I um, I'm looking for someone so if you could just hold off from shooting me until I find her, I'd appreciate it''.

　

Garrett glances over to Ward (his cheekbones really are unfair and if Lauren were here she'd tease Kebo endlessly for noticing Ward's cheekbones.) But she's not and he's not leaving or dying until she's in his arms. ''You're here for the girl, aren't you kid?'' Kebo shifts his gun, Ward's eyes don't miss it and Kebo is suddenly nervous. Ward could kill him faster than he could blink, he's heard all about the man's skill set.

　

''You've seen her? Lauren they took her I have to get her back''. John smiles and it's not a nice smile, like he's trying to be kind but it just comes off wrong. ''We're not here to shoot you son, we're here to arrest those agents. They were supposed to observe your girl and report back, no one knows why they went rogue''. The rain lets up then, just a small sprinkle now so Kebo can see clearly.

　

Ward is standing beside Garrett stone faced, weapon at his side looking at John as if the man told him to burn down the world and he'd do it. There are seven other agents with them, Garrett slicks his hair back and looks to Kebo. ''So we'll help you get her back okay? What's your name kid?'' Hmm. Trust them or not? With Ward in his corner Kebo knows this base doesn't stand a chance, it's the best shot he has at Lauren.

　

That's all that matters, all he cares about. ''Kebo. My girlfriend was taken nine hours ago I'm not leaving here until I get her back''. ''Alright no need for the dramatics boy you'll have her. My boy here is going to make sure that happens''. He glances over to Ward, ''make sure nothing happens to him or the girl''. ''Yes sir''. There's a look that passes between the two. An unspoken order, an agreement that Kebo can't see.

　

Later he'll find out that John was basically giving Ward the green light to do whatever he wanted. Whatever he had to do to make sure he came out alive. But right now Kebo couldn't care less, he needs to get to Lauren. Ward comes up to him power in his stride, the kind that shouldn't be there yet because of his age. Because he isn't an agent yet but it's there and Kebo feels this overwhelming desire to kick Ward in the shin.

　

But he doesn't. Mainly because it wouldn't end well for him. ''Agent Ward''. ''I'll find her, nothing is going to happen to her''. ''If it does I'm holding you responsible''. And just like that they start walking. ''You better get to those agents before I do''. Kebo warns Garrett who is behind them, Ward's eyes never stray too far from the older man. ''Kebo they maybe in the wrong but they are still Shield agents, still people''.

　

''Don't care. You better hope golden boy over here gets to them before I do''. There's an uncomfortable silence, no one says a thing. It stretches on until they reach the outskirts of the base and take cover behind a few trees. This is the first time he'll ever see Grant Ward in action. And all the stories are true. The man is a machine a weapon, a perfect solider in battle. If Kebo wasn't so worried about Lauren, he'd be impressed.

　

They take control of the base in twenty minutes, all the while Kebo follows Ward who takes whatever threat coming their way and eliminates them. He doesn't kill any of the agents, much to Kebo's annoyance. ''All I'm saying is you could let me have a few''. ''I won't just stand by and watch you kill someone''. ''Can you cut the Jesus act for two seconds? These people kidnapped my girlfriend and did god knows what to her.

　

If you were me, wouldn't you want revenge too?'' Ward doesn't answer because he can't. He's hasn't loved anyone yet. (Later when Grant meets a girl with long brown hair and fire in her eyes, when she's fighting for her life after being shot, he'll know exactly how Kebo felt. And he'll want to burn down the world.) But Kebo doesn't know that and takes his silence, shaking his head and keeps walking.

　

''Guess they were right about you after all''. Kebo mutters to Ward's back, who hears him but does not respond. He's fully aware of what people think of him. There's a scream and it chills Kebo to the bone. It's Lauren. He starts yelling her name taking off in a sprint not even caring if Ward is following or not, follows the sound. Hardly registers the door in his way just kicks it down, all he sees inside are targets.

　

He fires his gun until the room is only filled with Lauren and him. It takes a minute for the haze to clear and when it does Kebo chokes back bile. Not because Lauren is covered in filth or there's blood everywhere, far from it. The room is ice cold and sterile looking, there's nothing inside but a small medical table and a supply closet. Kebo blinks to clear his vision, calm the shaking of his hands.

　

Turns and there she is. In a hospital gown sitting on the floor knees drawn up to her chest, shaking looking at him as if he's a stranger. For once neither of them has any witty remark or smart ass comment. He's breathing hard not entirely sure what to do, does she want him to hold her? Is she hurt? ''Are you hurt?'' Ward asks her, when did he get in here? Why is this happening? Lauren did not deserve this.

　

She doesn't respond. Fixes her eyes on Kebo, her tear stained face filled with agony. ''Can you walk?'' Ward tries again, still she is silent. ''Lauren''. Kebo whispers, finally able to remember how to move and walks over to her. Crouches down on his toes so they are at eye level. She is pale her lips a light shade of blue, there's a bandage around her left arm. ''Lauren''. It's like when they first met and he doesn't know how to form a sentence.

　

Except this isn't happy or funny this is sick and twisted, wrong. She meets his eyes and that fire he's always loved, is gone. In just a few hours they have taken a piece of the woman he loves and she will probably never get it back. ''Lauren sweetheart''. Carefully as if she is going to run away in terror, he brings his hand up to her face. Cups her cheek, she is cold to the touch. If Ward notices the unnatural chill in the air, he doens't comment.

　

''We need to keep moving''. Kebo ignores him. ''Lauren are you hurt?'' She shakes her head, her ice fingers wrapping around his wrist to keep his hand in place. ''You found me''. Her voice is hoarse as if she's been screaming for a long time. Kebo does not want to think about that. ''I, I told you''- ''Use your words dear''. He nearly laughs now is not the time for teasing but Lauren does it anyway and he loves her he loves her.

　

''I''- ''Just like when we first met''. ''And you thought I was stupid''. Lauren tries to smile at this she really does, but just doesn't have it in her. There's something wrong. Something dark inside her from those tests every time she closes her eyes she sees the needles the men in dark suits breaking into the apartment, the bag over her head. She begged them to stop that she wasn't a bad person that she didn't want to die. They didn't listen.

　

Kebo nearly falls over when Lauren launches herself at him. Throws her arms around his neck and sobs into his shoulder. ''It's alright love I've got you, I've got you you're safe now. I'm here''. He stands and fights the shiver threatening to over take him, she is so cold. ''Don't just stand there Turbo you said we had to move''. Kebo tells Ward who changes back into solider boy so fast Kebo does not even have time to blink.

　

''Holy shit maybe you are a robot''. ''Language''. Lauren whispers. ''Sorry dear''. In the end it's Ward who gets them out safe and sound without a scratch, making sure each time Lauren is out of fire. And Kebo respects him for that, how can he not? When they are finally outside and the rain has stopped, in it's place is humidity and Kebo almost makes a comment about Lauren's hair. It has a habit of looking terrible in wheather like this.

　

But he doesn't. Instead curls her tighter to his chest, she's quiet. The crying has long stopped, her eyes are closed. He kisses her hair over and over, telling her he loves her that she's safe, that he's sorry for not being there for not protecting her. She comes out of hiding into the skin of his neck when John Garrett comes into view, clapping Ward on the shoulder. ''Told you my boy here wouldn't let anything happen to her''.

　

Lauren peeks out and looks at the two of them then back to Kebo. ''You brought in help''. ''Well''- ''And here I thought you would go all Rambo on me and storm the base yourself''. ''You know it's really not the time for your humor darling''. ''It's all I have, got to keep you around somehow''. The laugh that comes out of them is somewhere between a sob and actual humor. No one is able to tell the difference.

　

Kebo presses his forehead against hers, breathes in the scent of the air and her skin. Lauren is alive. He found her she's alright. ''You are never allowed to get coffee ever again''. She whispers, kissing his cheek. ''I love you''. Is all he replies before opening his eyes and turning to Ward and Garrett. ''Thank you, both of you''. Ward doesn't blink or say you're welcome, instead looking at John to speak.

　

''You're welcome kid. Anything else we can do?'' ''Get me out of here''. Lauren says only to Kebo who promises he will. ''Set this place on fire''. Kebo tells them as he adjusts Lauren in his arms and begins walking away. He thinks this is the last time he will see either of them, Ward and John don't even acknowledge Kebo leaving the scene. But life has a funny way of working out sometimes.

　

''Keep an eye on them''. Garrett tells Ward who agrees without question. ''Yes sir''. Not knowing that John just started what will become a life long friendship. It can only end badly. But they don't know that.

　

 


	3. I Don't Think Anyone Has Ever Loved Anyone They Way I Loved You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo and Lauren try to move on after what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning there is mentions of depression in this chapter and suicide. 
> 
> I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

 

''You should really eat something''. Silence. ''You don't want to end up with a feeding tube down your throat do you? Because that's what's going to happen''. Nothing. Kebo remains leaning against the doorway of his new apartment in Italy, watching Lauren. It's been two weeks since she was taken by Shield, they did god knows what on her and she isn't taking it well. Not that he'd expect her to of course, anyone would be messed up after something like that.

　

She hasn't gotten out of bed since they moved in here twelve days ago. ''Go away''. She mumbles against the sheets, turning so her face is pressed against the pillow. ''Not happening love. Apparently I'm not capable of leaving you, you've had such an affect on me. You slipped something in my drink once when I wasn't looking didn't you? To make sure I'd always hang around''.

　

Lauren doesn't laugh or turn in his direction. Kebo is out of his element here, not entirely sure what to do. In the course of these last fourteen days he has fed her, clothed and bathed her. Held her late at night when she couldn't sleep or early in the mornings when she had nightmares so awful she screamed. Clawed at her skin until it bled and her nails were ruined, he's had to buy five sheets sets since they arrived here.

　

Not that he's complaining, if this is how it was going to be for the rest of their lives he'd gladly take care of her. ''Lauren I'm going to go make some soup, I want you to please try and eat some alright?'' Her blue eyes meet his for just a moment and there's so much sadness so much agony in them he can hardly stand it. Kebo walks slowly over as to not spook her, leans down and brushes her hair back, ''I love you''.

　

There's a twitch in her jaw and very lightly her cold fingers grip his wrist. But then her eyes close and she winces, turns over to face the window instead of him. Kebo tucks the blanket around her small form and heads to the kitchen. He has considered calling her parents, her mother would know how to help. But he knows that would only make the situation worse, Lauren's family thinks she is a monster, they wouldn't understand.

　

Kebo gets out the can of soup and turns on the stove, glances out the window, shifts the curtain aside. Nothing looks out of place, no agents Hydra or Shield alike lingering outside. It wasn't a coincidence he chose Italy to move to, it's Lauren's favorite place in the world, she was so happy last time they came here. (What he can't see is Grant Ward watching from the shadows. Garrett wants him to watch Kebo and Lauren, keep them safe.)

　

''All we have is chicken noodle I hope that's okay''. He calls but of course Lauren does not respond. Kebo sighs and closes his eyes, shakes off the image of Lauren in that base, how scaed she was. After he got her out of there it's like she was in shock, like she didn't understand or want to accept what happened to her. He took her to a few Hydra doctors he trusted to make sure she was alright, that those men didn't do anything life threatening.

　

After that they skipped from hotel to hotel until he found this place. Kebo pours the soup into a pan and sets it on the stove, grabs a bowl, a spoon. Lauren's favorite brand of crackers. He smiles slowly as the memory of the two of them standing in the aisle of the store all those months ago, arguing about how there's no such thing as a special brand of crackers, according to Kebo they are all the same, she didnt' agree.

　

_''They're literally all the same''._

_''No they aren't. Some are thin some are salty, some are plain''-_

_''Just pick a damn box or so help me god''._

_''You know one of these days Kebo I am going to tape your mouth shut. God knows it would give me some peace and quiet''._

_''You'd miss my charming voice after five minutes''._

_''Would not''._

_''Would to''._

_''Most definitely not cupcake''._

_''You're a terrible liar Lauren. Just pick a damn box so we can go home and I can take off all my clothes''._

_''Wow so charming there boyfriend, you sure know how to seduce a girl''._

_''I try. It's not very hard since you want me basically all the time''._

_''Ew''._

_''You love me and you know it''._

_''I guess you're alright, you do have a cute butt''._

_''I knew it!''_

　

Kebo doesn't even notice that the soup has boiled over until a small hand on his arm alerts him. Lauren is standing there wearing his clothes turning off the stove, a look of concern on her pale face. ''Where did you go?'' She asks her voice low, backing them away slightly from the hot stove top. Kebo's face doesn't hide the surprise, he's been asking her that same question for days now.

　

When she lays in bed her eyes distant, mind in a place far from here. Sometimes she's gone away for hours or minutes, some days she tells him, others she's quiet and distant like today. ''Kebo? Honey?'' Maybe it's because she is worried about someone other than herself, it's easier to focus on his pain than her's, because right now she's more alive than he's seen her in weeks. And he's the one who can't think straight his hands shaking.

　

Kebo clears his throat and flashes a smile she doesn't buy, ''everything is fine, just thinking. Here, don't want your soup to get cold''. He pours the remaining noodles into a bowl, takes a spoon and crackers, follows her into the bedroom. Lauren curls up her knees drawn to her chest, back supported by the headboard. Pulls the covers around so only her face and hands are visible. The room is low lit, only the bed side lamp turned on, hiding her eyes.

　

It amazes Kebo that after all she's been through she still managed to worry about him, had the strength to get out of bed and check on him. What the hell did he do to deserve this woman? Lauren's hands are shaking too hard to hold the spoon so after a few minutes of coaxing he manages to feed her. She dozes off after that in the fetal position, her rest is not peaceful. Kebo is nodding off himself when a sharp jerk of her body has him fully awake.

　

Lauren falls out of bed and closes her eyes. Sees the men in suits headed for her, they promised they were not going to hurt her. Yet the kicked down the door and covered her mouth when she tried to scream. Drugged her so when she came to she was in a cold room strapped to a table. Needles in her arms and those same men staring at her, touching her like she was some sort of alien, a stranger on this planet that didn't belong.

　

There's this awful pain in her chest that won't go away no matter how much time passes. She can't move she can't breathe without that weight pressing down on her lungs like she's going to die. Sleep isn't an escape even though that's all the energy she has now, there's nothing here nothing there just this endless void she can't stop or slow down. Those people took something from her, scooped out a piece of her like it meant nothing.

　

Now who is she? What does she do? She can't, it's just so hard. To not think about it, to get out of bed, to find a reason to keep going. The nightmares the flashbacks, the getting lost in her own head because the world is a dark scary place and she'd literally rather be anywhere else, she's changed. Lauren can feel it, she is not the same person she once was, and it only took a few hours for it to happen.

　

Lauren has never hated anyone before but if Kebo didn't kill those men that held her, oh she wants to. She wants to watch the life drain out of their eyes. Warm hands on her shoulders that cause a scream to tear out of her throat and scramble away no no no no no please don't she hasn't done anything wrong she doesn't deserve to go back to that place she hates neeldes they sting the smell of blood makes her dizzy.

　

''Darling it's alright it's Kebo you're safe, here with me no one is going to hurt you''. The words hang in the air and Lauren takes a moment to realize that he's right, she's not in that base she's here with him. With Kebo. The man she loves more than anyone, who found her despite the impossible, who fought to get her back because he loves her, he saved her. She opens her eyes to find he is sitting cross legged on the floor across from her.

　

He's safe. The only thing in this life that makes sense anymore. Her rock that would accept her no matter who she turns out to be. It will be okay as long as he's around, right? There's a whisper in the back of her mind that stings, no no no nothing will ever be alright ever again. Everything she was and everything she is, is gone. Dead and burned. ''Look at me you're alright, I promise no one is going to hurt you ever again''.

　

She wants to cry. To get in his face and scream that she is not alright that she wants to die every morning that she wakes, that what they did to her has altered her. Made her into the shell of who she used to be, and Lauren doesn't want to live like this, she has no desire to wait for all the time to pass so she can be decent again. Not the woman she was before because that person is gone, but be the person Kebo expects her to be.

　

Not the same of course, but a ghost of the girl he used to know. Still cracking jokes and waking him up in the middle of the night to make love, but there's a part of her that would always be lost to him. He knows this and he'd love her still and the thought makes her want to yell or rip her hair out perhaps both so he'd fully understand the monsters in her body now. It's all just this hopless black empty hole that's about to swallow her.

　

Kebo watches as she comes back to herself, takes deep breaths and pins her scared gaze on him. She doesn't say anything but suddenly jumps up and runs for the bathroom, he grimaces when the sound of her being ill fills the apartment. He walks into the restroom and holds her hair as she leans over the toliet, crying and coughing into the porcelain. Helps her brush her teeth and rise out her mouth once she's done.

　

Her skin is clammy as she leans against the counter his hand in hers. ''Lauren''- ''please don't''. ''Okay''. They stand like that for half an hour, Kebo's legs are growing tired and he nearly makes a comment but he dies when she takes his hand and presses it to her heart. The slow beats nearly make him cry, he almost lost her but here she is alive and breathing with him. ''I promise I'll protect you, you know that don't you?''

　

It's no use, he can tell she is long gone. So he carries her to bed, tucks her in and kisses her forehead. Keeps the light on, Lauren has developed a fear of the dark. A few minutes later he's eating cold pizza sitting on the living room floor because they don't have a couch yet, when the front door is suddenly thrown open. Kebo springs into action gun in hand but pauses when he recognizes the figure in the doorway.

　

Grant Ward is standing there with blood on his fingers but there's nothing in his face that indicates he's in pain or there's any danger.

　

_Obviously there's bloody danger you moron, the robot is bleeding. Didn't know robots could bleed._

　

Kebo quietly tells his brain to shut the hell up and the two men stare at each other. ''I'm going to assume you didn't stop by for a night cap''. Ward doesn't move, ''no I didn't''. Kebo nods, ''you want me to patch whatever wound you have?'' ''You have experience''- ''for the love of god stop bleeding in the hallway and get in here. I can handle whatever the hell is wrong with you''. Grant shuts the door quietly and Kebo doesn't miss how he drinks in the room.

　

Checking for weapons, for escape routes, whatever else Specialists do. ''Do I even want to know why you're in Italy, or where I live? Did you know I was here? Have you been following me because I left such a great impression the first time we met?'' ''Can you just shut up and help me? I would have dug the bullet out myself but I can't reach it''. Ward strips out of his shirt and turns around, indeed there is a bullet wound to his left shoulder.

　

''And just when I thought my night was going to be boring''. Kebo can tell Ward is on edge the entire time he's digigng the bullet out and sewing up the wound. He can assume it's because Ward doesn't trust people, also Kebo finds it odd that he's so quiet. He's about to make a wise comment on Ward's social skills when there's a shuffle from the bedroom. Kebo and Ward both turn to find Lauren entering the living room, shock on her face.

　

''What's going on?'' There's blood on the floor and she backs away from it likes it's going to jump out and choke her. ''Lauren you remember this man right? His name is Ward, he helped me rescue you''. Kebo isn't about to mention he's a Shield agent. Lauren takes a minute to focus and when she does, she nods in his direction. ''Oh right. You're the one with the nice cheekbones that Kebo always talks about''.

　

''I do not''- ''Those cheekbones are to die for though, I can see why he can't shut up about them''. ''Lauren''. Kebo sounds scandalized and Ward looks completely out of place in this conversation. ''I would just like the record to show that I do not talk about you all the time, just ignore what my girlfriend says''. ''You two boys want to tell me what's going on, or do you expect me to not react to the blood on the floor?''

　

They both turn to Ward and Kebo crosses the room, Lauren takes a hold of his hand. ''You've been made we need to leave and find a safe place''. ''I'm sorry how do you even know that? Why the bloody hell are you here?'' ''I have orders to keep the two of you safe''. Lauren and Kebo exchange a look. ''Why? From who?'' ''Not important. But if you want to live you'll do as I say. There was a Shield agent casing the place, he was involved in what happened to you''.

　

Lauren sucks in a breath and Kebo draws her closer to his side. ''Where is he now?'' ''Dead''. Kebo smirks but there's no life in it, ''what happened to saving everyone? Now the white coat you wear has blood all over it''. Grant puts his shirt back on, ''that was before he tried to kill me. Look if you stay here you die and it's my job to protect the two of you so I need you to come with me''. Kebo turns to Lauren, ''he's quite bossy''.

　

The old her would make a joke right back, but instead of humor there's fear in her blue eyes. ''Kebo I think we should trust him''. ''You're just saying that because you're blinded by his muscles''. ''They are nice. But that's not the point, I don't want to stay here if we're in danger''. So that's how they find themselves hopping a flight out of Italy and back to America, living out of hotel rooms for days.

　

Kebo normally does not like people, Shield agents especially, but in the short time they have been together he and Ward have developed not a friendship, but something. They both want to protect Lauren and in Kebo's book that makes Ward alright. They trust him, he hasn't led them astray yet and there have been a few threats directed at Lauren and Ward has always taken them down. How can Kebo not respect his dumb face?

　

And his presence seems to have relaxed Lauren a bit, opened her up, eased the tension in her shoulders. Ward is annoying and anti-social, brooding, quiet and guarded but there's something about the Shield agent that the couple finds curious, interesting. He has demons everyone does, but they keep him up at night. Lauren isn't any different. ''Look all I'm saying is you should have picked up some candy too''.

　

Lauren rolls her eyes as does Ward. ''There was no time Kebo''. ''Excuses''. Lauren cuddles up to Kebo's side, her head on his shoulder as they walk into their hotel room. Ward quietly tells them goodnight and catches the look on Lauren's face. He can't read exactly what it means but it's so sad, heart breakingly so and he wants to stop, to ask if she's alright. But they don't have that kind of relationship and Kebo is with her.

　

Heads to his own room next door and gets ready for bed.

　

''I love you, you know that don't you?'' Lauren whispers as Kebo keeps the bathroom light on and joins her in bed. ''Of course''. Kebo lightly puts his hand on the back of her neck and kisses her lightly. Fully expecting her to pull away but she doesn't, breathes that she loves him more than anyone in the world between kisses. ''I love you too''. Sometime later after he's alseep, Lauren props herself up on her elbow and watches him sleep.

　

The rise and fall of his chest, his hand resting on her knee. Oh how she loves him how she will always love him. But sometimes love isn't strong enough. Sometimes it can't save someone.

　

An hour later Ward wakes to the sound of his phone ringing but that's not what actually alerted him. Someone is screaming. He jumps out of bed and answers the phone, gun in the back of his jeans. It's Kebo. He's the one who's screaming, through the phone outside in his hotel room. Ward doesn't blink or breathe just runs until he reaches Kebo's hotel room, breaks down the door.

　

Someone must have called an ambulance because he can hear the sirens, what he finds in the room makes him stop in his tracks. Kebo on the floor in front of the bathroom door, cradling Lauren in his arms. She is limp in his hands and Ward doesn't even have to get close to realize what has happened. The girl with a bright smile that could light up even the darkest of rooms (he saw it only once but damn was it something.)

　

Who laughed so loudly you couldn't help but join, who loved Kebo so fiercely, who loved a hot cup of coffee in the morning, is no longer here. ''Kebo what happened?'' There's no point in asking Grant already knows, Lauren took her own life. And Kebo won't stop screaming.

　

 


	4. It Ain't Fair You Died Too Young Like A Story That Had Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kebo is falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to warn you again that there are strong mentions of death in this chapter. And the coming chapters will not get any easier.

 

Death is a fickle thing. It's sudden takes you by surprise, ruins lives. You're always so shocked by it even though you've been told from a young age that it happens to us all. No one is immortal everyone dies, even stars even planets and one day the sun will fade as well. Death is one of the only things in life that is certain, inevitable, you can't stop it you can't prevent it. You know this, yet when someone close to you is gone, it always steals the breath from your lungs.

　

Like you didn't expect it to happen yet it did. It always does and one day it will be you they put in the ground, and you will face whatever journey happens after this one. But for now as you stare at the casket in front of you, this can't be happening. She was supposed to live forever, no one that pure that good could ever be gone. Just like that in the blink of an eye. You turn around and they're no longer breathing even though they were just a second ago.

　

There was no warning you closed your eyes thinking it was all going to be alright and when you wake up your world is ending. Death takes everyone in the end, people are born people die it's an endless cycle over and over decade after decade, day after day. There's not a person on the planet who hasn't experienced loss or pain of a loved one, we are all connected in that way. So this sadness in your bones this crushing weight in your lungs is not new.

　

Someone out there has felt it before or is feeling it now right along with you, you just don't know it. They have lost the love of their life or their dad or mom, a brother or a grandmother. This happens to everyone, but that doesn't make the pain any less. It doesn't make it easier to get out of bed the first day after they are longer here, doesn't help when you shower alone eat breakfast alone, drink tea alone or go to sleep alone.

　

There's a shape where your heart used to be now, a knife that their death left you with constantly poking and proding at your skin, and slowly you bleed yourself dry. Until you are a shell of the man you used to be, because without her you mean nothing anyway. What kind of life is it now that she's gone? You can't even remember who you were before she waltzed in with her awful accent and bad jokes.

　

Who are you?

　

Where are you?

　

Where is she?

　

Why did she leave you all alone? Why would she do this? There was no note no flashing warning sign of the coming doom. Now there is nothing at all.

　

These thoughts are on a loop in Kebo's brain as he stands in the funeral home, a sea of caskets before him. He keeps turning to ask Lauren which one she'd prefer but then he catches himself and wants to scream. There's a man talking, the funeral Director but Kebo isn't hearing a word. Two days, it's been two days since his world fell down and crashed, caught on fire and burned every single path in his body.

　

Since we went to bed with Lauren by his side and when we went to grab a glass of water he saw the bathroom door was closed. She never keeps it closed not even when she had to use the restroom, didn't want to be alone. Was, not is. He should use past tense now. Kebo doesn't even remember the events that led him here, doesn't remember Ward being present the entire time holding him back as he sobbed into the street.

　

It still doesn't feel real. Like she's about to walk through the door any moment and kiss him, laugh at his current state of mind. But the dead feeling in her neck, no pulse in her wrist, he knows that isn't true. But he can't help himself he's in denial he can't let her go he won't he never will. He loves her, it will never be loved. He will never move on never get over her, how could he? Lauren is the love of his life and she's just gone.

　

He hasn't slept in two days he reeks of alcohol is fairly confident he's actually sweating it out at this point, and doesn't even care. Nothing matters nothing will ever matter ever again. ''Sir I understand how difficult this must be for you''- Kebo scoffs, runs a hand over his face. Here's the thing, Kebo is not himself. A part of him died when Lauren did and since it's still fresh, he's not acting like he was before. And he probably never will.

　

So he looks the funeral Director in the eye knowing this man has more experience than himself in death, probably knows exactly how Kebo is feeling, has seen grief a thousand times over. But Kebo isn't thinking clearly. ''You have no idea how hard this is for me''. ''Sir''- And that's when Kebo basically loses it. Takes his jacket off and throws it to the ground, ''you have no idea what I am feeling right now! Have you lost the woman you love?

　

Did you have to wake up to find her body on the bathroom floor? Did you know I had no idea she was suicidal? Not a damn clue I was blind! I could have stopped her, done something different not gone to bed. But she was so sad and I tried to help I tried so hard but she, I couldn't reach her she was, she was already gone and I just didn't see it''. There's a vase of flowers in the corner of the room and he just flings himself at it.

　

Watches with a numb feeling as the flowers and water tumble onto the floor the sound so loud he cries and he cries and he can't stop. Doesn't even notice he's on his knees Lauren's voice in his ear telling him to stop this, that he's being oh so dramatic. He wants to respond but can't find it in him to crack a joke not now, besides he can't even remember how to breathe much less speak.

　

Because he is so overcome he does not notice Ward (who has not left his side in two days but Kebo can't really remember that) come up and put a hand on his shoulder. The funeral Director gives him a nod and leaves the room for a moment. Kebo keeps his eyes closed all he sees is Lauren with her blonde hair smiling at him, can hear her breathing like she's sleeping next to him and not somewhere far away.

　

''Have you been following me again?'' Kebo asks when he has composed himself and stood up. ''Kebo I've been here the whole time. Are you alright? Do you need a minute?'' The other man wipes his face just as the Director comes back in. ''Sir have you decided?'' Kebo looks around the room once more and swallows back bile. ''She doesn't belong here, not in any of these I''- Lauren belongs with him why the hell isn't she here?

　

Ward watches Kebo fall apart again and they don't leave the funeral home for five hours. Kebo enters the room to pick a casket, cries and walks back out. Passes the lobby, goes to the bathroom, and it goes on and on and on. Finally he cracks and tells Grant he can't do it, he's half drunk hanging on Ward's shoulder and begs him to choose. Grant wants to say that Lauren's family should, they should also be here but he stops himself.

　

They end up with a lovely soft black one that Kebo insists is perfect. Kebo calls her family later that night and tells her dad what happened, what time the funeral is and where. He hangs up because her father starts yelling, her mother crying and he just can't take it. Half of him did not want to even invite them or tell them about Lauren. They treated her like she was a thing, a monster, like she didn't belong.

　

But Kebo knows it's what she would want, and if time was on their side eventually she would have forgiven them. She is, was, good like that so kind and warm.

　

He can't feel anything.

　

Funerals are a funny thing. Not funny like irony or telling a joke, but funny because people show up whom you've never met before. It's a beautiful day, sunny and a light breeze. It's wrong. There should be rain. Heavy blankets of rain, loud thunder to drown out the sounds of crying. The cold bite of the water on his skin to make him feel something, anything at all. But birds are chirping and the sun is shining down on him like it's trying to make him better.

　

Nothing will ever make him feel better again.

　

Kebo watches through the lens of his sunglasses as Lauren's family begins to arrive, according to her father who called him once to discuss the funeral arrangements, Lauren did not want a viewing. She just wanted everyone to meet at the burial and then go on about their lives, those were her exact words in the will she left that Kebo didn't even know about. Who writes a will at ninteen? He wants to laugh at her and he nearly does, but Ward's elbow to his ribs cuts it off.

　

Kebo is also crazy curious as to why special Agent Grant Ward keeps hanging around, surely a Shield agent has better things to do. The preacher arrives bible clutched tightly in his hands, Kebo is already starting to sweat through his borrowed suit. He may have never met Lauren's parents but he can tell who they are the minute they walk through the grass. Lauren looked like her mother in the face, but her eyes came from her father.

　

''Her body is in there''. Kebo whispers to Ward who nods and moves a little closer to him. ''It is''. ''That's wrong''. ''Yes it is''. ''Why is she in there Ward? What's happening?'' Grant isn't entirely sure how to respond having not had many brushes with death, yet. His grandmother was so long ago and he hates to think about Buddy. He'll miss that dog forever, his best friend. He opens his mouth to say something but someone beats him to it.

　

The preacher begins speaking of life and death, about birds and how death is just a new beginning. That Lauren will always be here in spirit and her memory will live on on the hearts of the people she loves. It's over in about an hour and Kebo once more falls to his knees and sobs when her casket is being lowered into the ground. Grant crouches down next to him hand on his back as Kebo begs for her not to leave him, that they were supposed to be happy.

　

''You shouldn't be here''. Her father says, taking off his sunglasses so he can glare at Kebo. Who stands upright with Ward's help. ''Excuse me?'' ''You're the reason she never came home, you're the reason I never got to say goodbye to my only daughter!'' ''She hated you and with good reason you piece of shit. You treated her like she was a monster!'' Lauren's father pushes his way over to Kebo, shaking.

　

Ward sensing a fight positions himself, ready for it. ''Don't you dare talk to me about my daughter, that's my little girl in there!'' ''You didn't treat her like a child, just a monster that's why she ran away! Because you didn't understand her''- ''It's your fault she's dead you son of a bitch. You have no right to stand there and act like''- ''I have every right! I love her and she loved me''- ''You stole her from us!'' ''She wanted to be with me!''

　

A punch is thrown, then two then three until Ward manages to break the two men up. ''If I ever see your face again I will kill you! I hate you! You're the reason I will never see my child again!'' Years down the road Timothy (Lauren's father) and Kebo will become friends. Will visit her grave often together, share a drink afterwards. Exchange old stories of her and laugh and cry at a bar. But today is not that day.

　

Instead Ward drags Kebo to the car and shoves him inside where he cries himself to sleep. ''He was right you know, it is my fault''. Ward looks over to Kebo who is lying on the couch, bottle of whiskey in hand. They are currently in one of Garrett's old safe houses, Ward hoped Kebo would sober up but that's clearly not happening. ''Kebo there was no way you could have known Lauren was going to do that''.

　

''She was suffering and I knew it. I thought I could help, save her do something anything but I couldn't. I wasn't enough and now she's dead and I wish I were too''. Ward sits across from him in silence not sure what to say, so he drinks his own beer and the night passes slowly.

　

More than once in our lives, we all wish we were dead too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> WELL.
> 
> I had no intention of writing this any time soon but hey, here we are.
> 
> Also if you were just curious Lauren and Kebo's song is ''She is the Sunlight''. By Trading Yesterday.
> 
> You have been warned this isn't like my other fics where everyone gets a happy ending. This one if full of sadness and death. 
> 
> Enjoy.


End file.
